Happiness

4/4/11

I do not feel I have the right or authority to impose my feelings on others. I do not want others to act in certain ways just to make me feel better. I do not want others to deny themselves happiness just because they are afraid to hurt my feelings. My feelings are my own, I have to deal with them. Besides who says my reaction to situations are right anyway? I feel if you truly love someone their happiness is what matters most, and you will find your happiness through their happiness.

Why do I bring this up? It's just something I have been thinking a lot about lately. It seems to me that we get caught up in our own feelings and insecurities, that we forget about the ones we love, and their needs. We try and control them out of a fear we will get hurt. But that fear is usually just a projection of our own insecurities.

We all have our wants and needs, why can't we act on them without fear of hurting the ones we love? We let our base emotions, our social conditioning, rule how we feel about others, rule what we think is acceptable for others to do. We are so afraid of getting our feelings hurt that we try and deny the ones we love that which will make them happy. Why do we put our own feelings above the needs of the ones we love? What if we could always be happy for the ones we love, regardless of what they do, as long as they are doing what makes them happy.

I wish I could express this better, I have it in my head but am having trouble writing it down. maybe I can try an example. If I feel jealous or envious of something my wife does, who is at fault? She is such a wonderful person, I know her heart, and it is good. I know she loves me, and wouldn't act out of malice. So is she at fault for dong something that makes her happy? Or am I at fault for putting my own emotions ahead of her needs? I would put the fault on me for putting my feelings of jealousy over her need to do something that makes her happy. I feel I should not even have those emotions, they are nothing more than my insecurities, and social conditioning.

I wonder what would happen if we just threw off our social restraints and conditioning? If we would stop thinking the way society says we are supposed to think? Stop feeling the way society tells us we should feel? Be free. Be happy for each other, love each other, unconditionally. I know this is a pipe dream. We are an egocentric species that will almost always put our own feelings before the needs of others, myself included.