We all wear a mask. You might not be able to see it but it is there. What is this mask? It is our need for others to see us not as we truly are but as we would like to be seen. We pretend. What would happen if we were able to throw off our masks and show our real selves to others? Would that be such a bad thing? Are we so frail that we feel we can't let others see us as we really are? Or are we just afraid of what we will see in ourselves?
One of the reasons I have been writing is in an attempt to remove my mask. To be able to look in a mirror and see me for who I really am. I admit it's a scary idea. I might not like what I find. I fear others might not like what they find in me either. But I feel I need to know. When I write of beasts, cages, acceptance, happiness, long rides, it is just my attempt at tearing off the mask. To expose what lies beneath. To say this is who I am. I had a glimpse behind it for a short while, and for good or bad I want to see more.
I think to be happy again I have to find out what is behind my mask, to see the real me. I have hid behind it for so long that I'm not even sure I can remove it now. What if there is nothing there? That I find I have become the mask?
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