Baggage

Why do we have so many hang-ups? Why do we feel the need to carry all this unnecessary baggage with us throughout our lives? Baggage that just weighs us down, that won't allow us to concentrate on what is important. 

I admit I have  a lot of hang-ups, things I have carried with me since childhood. I know they are mostly a bunch of crap, useless things that have no relevance in the overall scheme of living. But I can't seem to shake them.

I come from a very conservative southern family. I've spent a good part of my life trying to overcome much of what I was taught regarding race, sex, religion, gender roles, bigotry, and a bunch of other stuff that doesn't come to mind right now. In other words, I've spent a good part of my life trying to overcome my hang-ups. Trying my best to not judge people, or the circumstances surrounding their lives. Trying to accept everyone for who they are, without condition. I will be the first to admit, I don't always succeed.

I have spoken of cages and social conditioning. And in part I feel I have broken free of the cage, but I have found that I have brought a lot of baggage with me. Baggage that I need to throw away. Why would I break free of the cage and still bring so much with me? I don't know why, but I know I am carrying it. Carrying a lifetime of conditioning that is hard to get rid of.

I still find myself unable to do certain things, to think in certain ways, to get past thoughts I know have no meaning. I still act in ways that I know do not matter, ways that can hurt others. I still have feelings of right and wrong that I know are meaningless, just mantras I repeat without thought.

I would like to think that I have an open mind. But do any of us really have open minds? Or are our thoughts and actions the result of our conditioning without ever realizing it? Just forming our opinions and actions about things through the filter of our hang-ups? 

Next time you form an opinion or act in a certain way just think to yourself, why? Is it a result of reasonable thinking? Or is it the result of some hang-up you have? Some form of conditioning you have been taught? Just a reaction without thought.