A Long Ride

I would like to take a long motorcycle trip.

Where do I start? Is this going to turn into another obsession? I know I will never do it, so I should get the whole idea out of my head right now. I can't though, it's just the way my brain works. I get an idea in my head and it is all I can think of until the next idea comes along. I have a bad habit of not following through, I just obsess.

But the idea of a long motorcycle trip sounds so good to me right now. The need to just take off, be by myself, be alone is overwhelming. The idea that I could just travel with no plan or intentions other than to get my head straight is compelling. I think how nice it would be to have no schedule, no place I have to be, no responsibilities for a while. Just let me, and my brain wander for a time.

As I said before, I know I will never follow through with this. Why? For one I am just a dreamer, not  really a doer. I am a procrastinator, I have the ability to put things off until I stop thinking about them. I have no motivation to actually do what is necessary to get a trip like this going. Maybe if I just took off one day, not take that right turn that would take me to work, but instead just kept going straight. 

Where do I want to go? Nowhere. Wherever the road takes me. Wherever I end up is where I want to go. I do admit I would like to see trees, ferns, the fog, the ocean, maybe even visit my grandparents graves. Maybe I Just want to experience a bit of the world again. Would I want to visit old friends and family I haven't seen in years? Maybe, but then I wouldn't be alone. But maybe that is something I need, to reconnect with people from my old life.

It is a nice thought, I just wish I could actually do it. If by some chance I actually did take a trip would it actually help? Is it actually possible to find myself? Or is 'finding myself' all a myth?  I have no idea? But I would like to think it would help. What if I do find myself and it is something I don't like? What if I find I like being alone? That being alone is 'me'. What if I find I like being on the road so much I don't want to return to my life? The thought scares me. 

And besides, I don't own a motorcycle.